April is just about over. Only one more poem to go after this one. Although it’s been quite the challenge, I’ve had fun so I think I’ll still throw poems into my posts, maybe once a week. The month of May I’m declaring as Focus on Healthy Habits month. Yee Haw! Doesn’t that sound fun!

I’m going to do at least one purposely healthy thing a day. The plan is to make these actions accumulative to build some better habits so I have more energy and feel better. Like one day I’ll make sure to go to bed on time, another day I’ll go to a yoga class, another day I’ll go for a bike ride, and so on.

And in May, I also will switch my writing focus back to my book. Mary Carroll Moore’s book  “Your Book Starts Here” with all it’s information on creating, crafting, and selling your first book will help me get started. I’ve taken a class with Mary before, plus I follow her blog, and she really is good at helping writer’s get through the process of writing a book.

Last Wednesday was a tough day. My neck has been bothering me, so I went to the chiropractor who told me how inflamed my thready, scarred shoulder and neck muscles are. So? What’s new? He did his thing which hurt like hell! But is supposed to help loosen things ups. We’ll see… So far, it just feels like some big lug used my back and neck as a punching bag.

Anyway, enough complaining. I’m reading a book called “When Love Meets Fear” by David Richo. The book advises me that I need to sit with my feelings and just let them happen rather than eat an entire tub of Ben and Jerry’s Coffee and Heath Bar ice cream. So that’s what I’m trying to do. Just sit, breathe, and sip a cup of tea.

Aaahhh
Deep breaths
Deep breaths
In and out
Deep breaths
I need to turn this
Turn this
Around
Up and downed
One more day
Whew!
Made it
How many more?
I have learned
To play act
To appease
The days
Hoping
One day
It won’t be
Like this
One day
The lost place 
Of being
The missing
It will fade
And end
I’ll be happy
Here
For real
For longer
Periods
Long periods
Of time
Moments
Of time
One day
Someday
It will happen
In and out
Breathe

(Java looks like she needs to take some deep breaths too. Poor girl…)
Just in case you needed a Brew Babes fix before I launch into deep thoughts…

Are you ready? Let me light the way.

Ah yes, the writing has been difficult to do everyday, having the time, not to mention coming up with something to write about and finding a way to make it “poetic”. This has been my writing theme lately, how difficult it is to write. Go figure.

I’m hoping all this poem a day, throughout the month of April effort, pays off in the form of proving to myself that if I decide to spend time on something everyday, no matter what else interrupts and needs to be done, or how tired and brain dead I am, or even how down or anxious I feel, I can still write through it all — IF I DECIDE TO.

Dissipation
Words
On my tongue
Taste mighty fine
Until they circle my head
Smokey and illusive
Floating ghostlike
Beyond my reach
Come out
Come out
Wherever you are

I bet that title got your attention. I was just thinking that in my dream job, I would get to use my imagination and creativity to come up with ideas and collaborate with a team to go from ideas to action and finally, to mind-blowing, curtain-opening… something! Something would be published, displayed in a gallery, produced on a stage. Something would be created.

Without that kind of mental stimulation, camaraderie and passion, my mind shoots into space looking for opportunities to do something with all the ideas rolling around in my head crater, even if it’s just to fantasize.

In my dream life, creativity would be my job. I would write, until my brain sighed in relief.

Creative Reach
Ideas
Wrap on the window
Mouthing
A soft scream
Inspiration
Traces it’s finger
From navel
To shoulder 
Pauses 
With a squeeze
We meet
Eye to eye
I want to follow
But break
And look away
Creative desire
Still lingering
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