Finding My Way in Not-Normal-Time

From what I’ve been reading in blog posts and elsewhere, I’m not the only one struggling to figure out how life works since we changed our clocks to Not-Normal-Time.

A lot of people are finding their usual mode of operation is insufficient. Life feels off kilter — like when you change which side of the bed you sleep on and wake up trying to figure out where you are, banging your knee on the dresser as you lose your balance crossing the room.

Nothing looks or feels quite the same. The world has tilted.

This isn’t a new experience for me. The world tilted in a similar way when my son told me he was gay more than twenty years ago. But that tilt was one I alone seemed to feel. I had to find a new way of being a mother and an advocate for my son without anyone around who shared my experience. I looked for a new parenting rule book in the library, because Dr. Spock just wasn’t cutting it, and I found nothing.

This time, I’m not alone. We’re in this thing together.

As the world shakes and reforms, once again I am forced to rethink and reaffirm my values and what actions I’m willing to take to protect who and what is important to me.

Being heard and seen has been at the top of my list of things that I value and have sought from the time I was a child. And because I didn’t believe I was either of those things, I was drawn to wanting to protect and empower others who I saw suffering from the same plight. Of course, how much can a powerless person do?

A lot it turns out because none of us are actually as powerless as we think. Especially if we are not trying to do everything alone. I’m so thankful for the information provided by the Indivisible website and the network of local Standup Minnesota groups. You can read more about Indivisible and other action groups on Bill Moyers site or just watch the brief video on that page.

Yesterday I read Terri Windling’s blog, as I so frequently do, seeking a moment with her soothing words, feeling them carry me to a place of earthy nature, wisdom and mystery. I so need those moments of peace and grounding.

In her post on “Wild Stories,” Windling speaks to writers saying, “In our kind of work, ‘magic’ is not a metaphor for gaining power, control, or authority but for our numinous connection with natural world, and our nonhuman neighbors. It is wild work. It is soul work. And we need wild stories right now, more than ever.”

I felt such a longing surge up as I read those words.  I want that connection with the natural world and the plants and creatures in it. I want wild work. I want soul work.

I want to protect this big beautiful world that I so dearly love.