Lift-my-spirits and Feel-good List
I’ve been trying to figure out how and when I should update my profile so new people who land in my blog don’t read “About Me”, then read my posts and wonder what the heck is going on. Here’s one attempt at a rewrite:
“At the moment, I live on 10 acres with my dog, cat, and two horses. But my husband left me, the house is going up for sale, one of the horses will be sold, and I don’t know who I am anymore or where I’m going.”
OK. That’s really bad. Maybe I need to have a contest – see if someone can come up with a new profile for Mary, who by the way will be Maery after the divorce. Turns out I can change my whole name if I want to.
OK. Forget the profile for now.
I’ve been working on creating a lift-my-spirits and feel-good list that I can pull out and pick one of the things on the list to do when I’m having trouble beating back the blues.
I want to do things that take me outside my head and put me back in my body, experiencing life right now, instead of running amuck with fear of the future.
So for the next few days, or however long it takes, I’m going to create my list of feel-good experiences. I’m planning on only posting one thing on my list at a time so all my posts aren’t as long as this one.
I will also take that lift-my-spirits, feel-good thing and put it into terms of a future something that I can look forward to. I need to start seeing the possibility of some positive experiences in my future.
Drum roll please….
#1 – Being in, on, or around a body of water.
I went swimming on Sunday to cool off after a rather hot, humid walk with Java. There is something so refreshing and cleansing about taking a swim in very cold water and then taking a hot shower and putting on comfy, cozy dry clothes.
Our home pool is my own private water oasis. Even a man made body of water is just plain nice to sit next to, dangle your feet in, and enjoy the blueness. The chlorine smell of a pool is not as memorable as the earthy, rich smell of a lake or river, but I can overlook that. Our pool is even nicely surrounding by river rock so I’ve been able to collect quite a few agates without heading up to the North Shore.
I had wanted to put a fountain in the pool so I could get that splashing, waterfall sound that is so relaxing.
But better than the sound of a fountain is the sound of waves rushing up on the shore. Like when you are standing by Lake Superior or next to the ocean. I can hear it now, in my head, the woossshhh and crash of the waves on rocks or into a crevice running up between jutting cliffs and shore.
I recall the smell of the salty, seaweedy ocean; the feeling of waves washing over my bare feet and shifting and sucking at the sand, leaving grains of grittiness between my toes.
Java would like the ocean too. I can see her playing like these dogs I photographed in California.
But I like the calm water too. The lake at 6 AM, before the wind comes up, glassy smooth, the only ripples are those coming from a bug gliding, a fish jumping, or a turtle poking it’s head above the surface. It’s the best time to fish. Everything is so quiet, just the sound of your lure hitting the water, then the whirring noise as you reel in and the water shimmers and drips off the line.
Catching a fish isn’t the point – it’s the rhythm of casting and reeling. It’s the eery beauty of a loon call or the amazing sight of an eagle picking a fish out of the water, landing on a log and eating breakfast. You gasp, hand over mouth, and can’t believe you’ve witnessed anything so powerful and graceful, all in one.
Joy is skimming across the water, self-propellled, in your own mini cocoon. The rhythm, oars breaking the surface, the pull of the oar against water, muscles you haven’t used for awhile, the cool drip down the oar onto your skin, the splash, the glide — it feels so good.
Or watching your dog enjoy the water – throwing a ball or stick for them. The happy look on their face, the concentration while they swim to the object and snatch it up in their mouth, then the frantic run out of the water, a full body shake, collar jingling, me running for cover from the water exploding in all directions. I laugh, I think Java does too, and we do it all over again, and again, and again.
Both Java and I need frequent water fixes and we have lots of options with all the rivers and lakes around us, at least before winter blows in and everything freezes. During the winter, bubble baths are a nice water option.
Something to Look Forward To:
Once I have my bearings and the horse(s) are being taken care of at a boarding facility (maybe next summer), I can rent a cabin or pitch a tent up north, where Java and I can get a true water and woods experience.
It’s also true that I can live anywhere I want to, well, anywhere that I can find a job to pay the bills. So maybe I live on or near a lake, river, or even the ocean.
A cowgirl can dream…
Mary…keep dreaming.
As for your profile…
“I am a soon to be single woman with a dog, cat and two horses. I make kick- ass coffee, love the outdoors, kayaking, riding and taking walks. There is so much to do out there, if you just make the effort. My glass will always be half full and I intend to make the most of every moment.”
You are going to have to live everyday to the max, and keep looking forward. You have a lot of impact on your future and can’t make your X do anything he does not want to do. I’d rather be by myself than with someone who does not want to be with me…If you really want to bug him, really show him that you can make it without him. Let him think about what he will be missing out on.
Great profile above! You are one special lady!
I hear you on the water! I couldn’t ever live without it. Whether it’s the river, lake, ocean, pond, Sadie’s pool, gotta have it!
I love your idea of a feel-good list. Do whatever you need to do, to keep those spirits up!
I don’t think it’s any coincidence that the world is about 70% water and so are we. Good choice– very healing!
And I love the above profile too. You’re right- you’ll be able to live where ever and how ever you want. How about “I’m now untethered, and choosing to surround myself with people, things and experiences that make me feel most alive. The adventure of my new life begins NOW.” 🙂
Wow, I like Lori’s profile mixed with Sue’s…they both really capture your complete awesome-ness, and capture the change you have been forced to go through…and still remain awesome.
A little scared, and shell shocked maybe…but awesome!
You post is beautiful. Water is so essential for healing too. Apparently we are even supposed to drink more of it when we are down.
Thanks everybody for all the nice things you said. I love the suggestions for the profile. You help me put things in perspective and see a more positive side to the situation.
Thanks! 😀