Choices: Whether I Want Them or Not
“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”
— Helen Keller
I started to get down in the dumps again today as I tried to do some housing research. Trying to figure out what my future options are. I think I’ll have to rent for awhile when I eventually move from here – rent a home, a storage unit, and a place to board my horse(s). Did I forget anything?
But where? Near where I’m at now — more countryish? And closer to horse boarding? And where I can hear the music of frogs, crickets, birds, and coyotes? Or closer to where I work so I can let Java outside during the day? And where I can listen to the music of busses, people yelling, and sirens? Hmmmm…
Maybe I should have people vote. Or at least tell me, how do you make huge decisions like this? Some sort of instinct? A list of pros and cons? Pray? I’m pretty much doing all of these and there is no sense of direction yet.
Java and I went for a walk at Elm Creek park this afternooon. There are bike trails, horse trails, dog walking trails, hiking trails, snowshoeing, skijoring, and skiing trails there. Would be perfect to live near such a park, don’t you think?
No. They have so many restrictions on dog walking — certain length leash, dogs allowed only on paved trails that you end up sharing with a lot of bikes, and the trails weren’t very pretty and no water. Plus, I didn’t see any rental housing around there, only farms and suburbia houses.
I then searched on line for rental housing and couldn’t find anything that allows a cat and a dog over 20 lbs. It would also help to have something with a fenced in yard so I don’t have to do a leash run all the time. And something I can afford – that’s probably a huge decider. Oh, yeah, and my puppy needs a pool! Okay, so I probably won’t get that last one. Maybe a kiddy pool?
I managed to somewhat pull myself around to believing that I can be happy anywhere. All I need is a decent place to keep a big, active dog. I probably won’t be home much anyway. Just a place to sleep and eat. The rest of the time I’ll be at work or riding my horse or exercising the dog. Right?
I feel like we adopted Java under false pretenses. She was supposed to live where she had room to run. The people that visited our house to approve the adoption were so excited about leaving her with us. These are the kind of things I end up worrying about and feeling guilty about.
Hopefully, I can teach myself and Java how to skijor so she can run off some steam doing that. But I’ve discovered the equipment for that is expensive too. Maybe someone out there has a suggestion how to skijor on the cheap? Maybe if Java can learn agility and there’s a course somewhere that the public can use? Suggestions? Ideas?
It was another absolutely gorgeous day today. Unfortunately, I was too tired and cranky to enjoy it much. I woke up at 5:30 AM with the worst bloody nose I’ve ever had in my life! I thought I was going to have to go to the hospital the way I was losing blood. Freaky…
Waking up at 5:30 or earlier isn’t that unusual for me, but going to bed at midnight is and that’s what I’ve been doing lately. Must make wiser choices…
After our walk, I went to Fleet Farm and bought a training collar for Java. I’m tired of being the crazy neighbor, screaming at my dog to “Come!” I hated to spend the money, but Java keeps ignoring me more and more each day. She needs a wake up call. The thing is charging up right now. I can’t wait to wake up tomorrow and put it on Java! (Trying hard to refrain from cackling.) I’ll let you know how it goes.
I also got a bracket to hang a new bird feeder off the deck. I didn’t like the bird feeders that were at the store. They were too big, too small, not a big enough slot to let seed through. too easy for a squirrel to destroy, etc. I finally bought a small, cheap bird feeder just to test out whether the bracket will work or not. No use spending a lot on a feeder if the bracket isn’t raccoon proof.
Geeze! I just realized that I’m sounding a lot like all I do is sit around and worry about money. Well, kind of. It’d be different if I was younger and had a long time to make up the loss on my 401K and had a long time to be working period. God says not to worry about these things, but I don’t think that means we should be stupid about our finances. I just want to make wise choices.
On an up note, I found three agates today, which is totally amazing as I haven’t been finding any agates in the rocks around the house lately. I figure my big score is a sure sign that good things are coming into my life.
Okay, so I’m reading a lot into a few rocks, but can you blame a girl?
Gotta dash off to work in a second, but re: the skijoring idea…my roommate bikejores with Clara Bow and an old beat up, cheapie bike. Photos here: http://vintageflapper.blogspot.com/2008/10/clara-bows-new-favorite-activity.html
A shot in the dark…wouldn’t it be great if someone was renting out a farmhouse? Where you could have all your animals…By the time you add in board, it might be cheaper to find that kind of a situation. Any chance for you to buy a house? Sounds like you are getting your ducks in a row.
Meg – I checked out the link and Clara Bow looks like she has it down! I don’t have a harness or anything so I’m just working on using commands while we walk, like “Easy” for slowing down, and “Gee” and “Haw”. I sure wish she would get “Whoa” down!
Lori – I’m just looking for something temporary as I’m not sure I’m even going to remain in the same state that I live in now. My sisters and brothers all live out west and it would be nice to live closer to them. There is the job and money thing to consider, however, before I go pulling up roots.